TGIF? or WTF?

I know there was a "F" involved yesterday somehow. I think it all caught up with me Friday. The wheels came off the bus as they say. Each day I have good intentions and a good plan, and it is completely exhausting trying to keep the train on the tracks. What is with the transportation analogies, I must want to get away.
The plan was to go to my 8 year olds presentation at school, take Nancy to work, go to Hot Yoga at noon, deal with my daughter's after school schedule, various errands, pick up Nancy and daughter, make dinner, then go ride a mechanical bull with my cousin at a bar called Cowgirls Inc.
It sounded like a good idea. Here is how the day actually went and a small glimpse into the noise in my head:

7:30 am Wake Up late - Rush to get 8 year old ready for school. He is nervous about his presentation and not cooperating; won't eat breakfast; Keeps asking for reassurance that I WILL be at his presentation and on time; "yes, Henry" as I roll my eyes "I promise mommy will be there"
8:20 - phew, kid driven to school, not late, uh oh, mommy wants to chat with me, please don't come up to the car I have ratty pjs on and my husband's shoes.
8:30 - home, quiet, heaven...clean up a bit, ouch it hurts to move, ouch can't bend over to pick up those clothes, damn Zumba class
9:30 - maybe a hot shower will help, Nancy calls, got a flat tire this morning am I going into Redmond today? hmmm...well that will make me go to Yoga, yes, will pick you up at 10:15 to go to Henry's presentation and then will take you to work
9:40 - I am cold, turn heat on before shower, hmmm...maybe I should get under the comforter while it warms up...Dawn Don't Do It!!!
10:30 - F$%k, I fell asleep, omg, omg, omg, I am a terrible mother, awful, the worst, a total failure, S**t, s&^t, s*&t, where are my clothes. Contacts in, sweats on, brush front of teeth, pony, hat, crap where is my phone it's ringing, "yes, Nancy I fell asleep, on my way, crap", OMG I just stepped in Puppy Pee, damn he was not in his kennel, look pee and poop, omg it's on my foot, screw it put on flats, where are my car keys, oh crap don't have time to grab Hayley's dance stuff, grab shorts, "really Dawn you think you are going to make Yoga", Oh no, maybe I won't miss the presentation, he is going fourth, oh no he is going to be scarred for life, gawd what is Scott going to say, great add it to the list.
10:36 - Nancy get in the fricking car
10:38 - school drive way, throw keys at Nancy, park it babe, damn why is his class on the 2nd floor and the farthest from the door, Run Dawn Run, Oh crap this bra sucks, Run, up the stairs, damn I really don't like to run. Omg, I am the worst mom ever, Omg, I hope I don't look too scary.
10:39 - Oh no, there is Adam, okay, he isn't talking, just open the door and go in, open, "hello everyone", about 20 parents and 25 kids turn to look at me. Maybe I should bow and say "you can start now, I am here". Geez look how nice all the parents are dressed, Gawd I am a loser. Oh Know, look at Henry's face, he isn't sure if he should be happy to see me, mad or mortified. I am a terrible mother. Oh geez I am panting from the sprint.
10:45 - OMG this is so boring!
11:00 - Henry's turn, little guy looks so nervous, hey at least his clothes match today, omg he is SO cute, so handsome, uh oh, I must be staring with a goofy look on my face, he looks worried. Here he goes, a presentation on Canada. Oops, there is his family tree, but the lines are all wrong and warped looking. Sort of dysfunctional, well that's accurate. oh look, he added some other facts to his report, good job. Wonder if he brushed his teeth this morning. Yeah, he is done. Can I go now or would that be super rude?
11:20 - yeah, I am outa here. quick hug, "Henry I gotta sneak out early to take Nancy to work" Henry loudly "I thought you said you had to leave early to go to Yoga"
oh geez
11:40 - Nancy to work, me to Hot Yoga
12:00 - didn't bring clean towel, gross. Omg there is puppy pee on my foot. Wait, there are no amateurs in this class. Wait there is my friend Jenny in the front. Wow, she is amazing, holy cow, how does she do that! And she has boobs, guess I can't use that excuse any more
12:05 - I am hot
12:15 - It is hotter in here today I am certain
12:16 - I wonder what time it is, I am hot
12:45 - I think I am going to die
1:00 - Okay I am tapping out, my new goal today is to just not leave the class, I am going to practice the corpse pose for the rest of the class. That will still be an accomplishment right?
1:05 - I am hot
1:10 - If I scootch down a little I can get my toes under the drapes and touch the metal trim, ohhhhhh....that is nice.
1:11 - oops must have moaned, Hi teacher, "no I am okay, I have a pacemaker and just having trouble with the heat today" yeah that sounded good. Hey at least she checked on me
1:13 - I am hot
1:30 - OMG, I didn't die, yeah me, "Hi Jenny, yes I was here, in the corner, yeah the one laying on the floor"
1:45 - pick up Hayley's dinner at Subway - people staring at my shorts and my legs and the sweat soaked shirt. Look away people, look away.
1:50 - oh geez how am I going to get home, get her dance bag packed, find her leotard and get this stuff to the school by 2:10. Okay her ride doesn't come til 2:30 I can do this
2:00 - I have to take a shower
2:10 - where is the #%%% leotard
2:20 - "hi honey here is your stuff" "excuse me, you don't like this carpool, because you have to wait 15 minutes for Mrs. Yerges" "really?"
2:30 - grocery store for dinner supplies. OMG the ding dongs are on special and they have displays everywhere. Okay, one can't be that many points. put them back. OMG, I am white knuckling the cart, I need to get out of here. plus, I just said hi to a mom I know and she ignored me, I think she doesn't recognize me with the wet hair stuffed in the ski hat. Whatever, bite me. If I get out of here without ding dongs, it is an accomplishment
2:50 - yeah me!
3:15 - Henry Home, you wanna play xbox, knock yourself out dude.
3:30 - "Hello, boys and girls club" "yes I missed the sign up deadline for my 3rd grader for basketball, is there still room for him on a team" "yes?" yeah me, not loser mom. "practice starts tonight at 6:00" okay
3:45 - oh look a text from June, "did you stand me up today?" Oh crap. we were going to play racquetball at noon, but I had told her on chat last night that after Zumba my ankle couldn't do racquetball. I thought she got that message, guess not, great she thinks I stood her up. Call and apologize.
4:30 - bull riding tonight, nope I am out, gotta learn to know my limits, just do dinner with Terri since I have not seen her in weeks and weeks
5:00 - make dinner
5:40 - hurry Henry, make the shoes fit, they are just stiff because they are new
6:00 - drop Henry
6:15 - pick up Nancy
6:25 - pick up Hayley
6:40 - drop Nancy
6:55 - send Hayley in to get Henry from practice
7:10 - reheat dinner
7:30 - at Lanponis waiting for Terri
7:50 - Terri texts, she messed up and is at Simones and already ordered a drink. Chemo Brain good excuse. Head to Simone
8:00-10:00 - catch up with Terri and proceed to eat all weekly bonus points, discuss potential plans for my 40th birthday. Terri does not think skipping it or hiding somewhere sucking my thumb is an acceptable option
10:15- home, kids screaming, fighting over xbox
11:00 - finally restore peace
11:10 - I am hungry
12:00 - Henry asleep
12:00-1:00 - work on Tamese and Terri's belated Christmas presents
1:00ish - I think the ambien finally kicked in.