Circus Freak

Today was super exciting! I took a trapeze class. Yes, like in the circus! I will post photos. Now this was a gift for my 39th Birthday last January from my best friend from high school, Sara. When I opened it at my party my other friends and my mom looked at Sara like she had given me a bong or something else shocking. They said, "you do know her right?" " You do know that she broke her ankle this month doing a "polar dip" off a waterfall into a shallow end of a pool in Vegas? You do know she fell off her porch one night in her pjs into the bushes while trying to unplug Christmas lights only to find out a year later she had broke her wrist and now needed surgery? Really?!!! You think it is a good plan to put her on a trapeze three stories up?"
I thought it was the coolest gift ever. What a great thing to do before I turn forty, of course at the time I said I will do this when I lose this weight, what a great goal and motivation.
Well that was 355 days ago and about 40 pounds the wrong direction. So it was scheduled for today. I figured if I can survive the face of the sun for seven 90 minute sessions I can swing from a bar. Plus I was certain there would be a weight limit and I would get out of it.
Well it is done! No trips to the emergency room, yeah Dawn! It was amazing. There were eight people in the class and the goal was to learn the trick to earn the right to do the next one where you hang upside down and get caught by the Fabio look alike swinging from the other trapeze known as the "catch trap". Half the class earned this honor, the ringing of the cowbell; Sara nor I were one of them. You had to climb three stories up hook into a harness held by a rope by a guy that weighed less than me. You then had to grab the trapeze, lean into midair trusting the little gal up there with you could hold you, leap off the board into a free fall swing. Follow a string of verbal commands having you swing out, tuck, hook your knees, let go, swing upside down, regrip, untuck then do a back flip off the trapeze landing in a net.
We practiced on the floor on a free hanging bar. Guess who could not get her fat ass up off the floor. Yeah that would be me. I have never felt so self conscious about my size ever. I was the biggest one there, when did that happen? Why does this keep surprising me? I got so nervous during the floor training I could not shut up. I kept asking Fabio very thoughtful questions hoping we would run out of time and I would not have to do it!
I watched the first two woman nail it. Really? Are you serious? Fine I am going next, get this over with. The higher I climbed the more I started to shake, I didn't know I was scared of heights? No that wasn't it, I am scared of looking like a fool and to show how clearly out of shape I am. When I got to the top you had to stand still gripping a rail while they hooked you in. My knees were shaking and my breathing was erratic. Seriously am I going to faint? Scott is so not going to be happy if I hurt myself. Oh, you want me to let go and move to the center. Uh, no I am not ready to do that. This petite little gal grabbed my waist harness and jerked me around, and had me grab the trapeze with one hand. This started the hyperventilation. I was freaked out by how much I was freaking out. I had death grip on the rail with my left hand. She finally got me to let go of the rail. She wanted me to lean out over the space while she held me from the waist leaning back the opposite direction. I had visions of pulling her off the perch with me. She gave me the go command and I went screaming like a little girl. Could not even get my toe on to the bar, as I swung from that bar, I felt like I weighed as much as a circus elephant. Oh yeah, I thought, this is fun, Happy Birthday to me. I fell to the net without injury and crawled to the edge, when my feet hit the mat I was gripping the guys arm, "he said I need that you are going to have to let go". I was afraid my legs were going to give out they were still shaking so much, I started to grab on to his leg, but knew it would be such a Dawn move that I would accidentally grab something else and how humiliating to be kicked out of the circus for accidentally fondling the instructor. It was terrifying!
The next gal went, nailed it. Are you kidding me? I am going to be the only chicken here? That is pathetic. Finally a gal got up there and refused to go, they ended up sending another gal up to give her a shove. Yeah me, she may be younger and thinner but she sucked more than me. I was so thankful to her.
I went four times. There are so many things you have to do and your timing has to be really good to accomplish these feats. You also have to be a really good listner and good at following direction. Not my strongest skills, I don't always play well with others.
I never was able to hang upside down, which I am not sad about because I really think that was an accident waiting to happen. But I did nail the back flip dismount two times, although I had my eyes closed both times.
By the fourth time I was so tired, I just barely was able to hold on. It was super sad.
I now have blisters on my hand but I have a video showing I did this before I turned forty. I really feel that if I had not been doing the yoga I would not have even been able to do the little I did accomplish. I am fearful of how much I am going to hurt in the morning.
My new goal is to lose enough weight by my daughter's birthday at the end of April to go back with her for a party and get that cow bell to ring for me!