Wow, I can not believe I have not blogged since April. It is not because I have not had anything blog worthy, but mainly because life has been so challenging and drama filled that I couldn't actually write about it without offending someone!
But tonight I finally have something that has inspired me to write again after my two month silence.
Recently my good friend, Nancy, got me out of the house and working part time in her Bike Store. It has been terrific. I get to spend time with a fun and good friend, earn a little money and learn about the sport of cycling. I feel like I am actually helping Nancy out and making a difference at the store, even if it is just organizing inventory.
Last Friday I actually got to work with customers. Which consists of me totally trying to fake knowledge of biking while stalling the customer until someone that actually rides a bike can help them. My bike is a Mary Poppins bike, the bikes in this store cost upwards of 10k and you actually have to bend over to reach the handle bars. People actually wear biking apparel to ride them unlike the yoga pants I wear when riding my bike to the Red Hook Brewery. Their bikes are lightweight, have skinny tires and do not have a bell that says "I love Momma" on it. I think I annoyed Nancy the first week because I could not pronounce the brands correctly and I kept making fun of the padding in the crotch of the men's shorts.
I am having a lot of fun and it has turned into the potential for so much more. I am hoping to spend the summer working on their marketing. The website, social media, sales training, etc. One of the owners was so gracious to pay for me to attend a college continuing education class on Effective Website Design. It is an 8 hour class over two days this week at Bellevue College. Not to be mistaken for Bellevue Community College. They dropped the Community part due to some new accreditation. But many of my High School Classmates may still refer to it as the "13th grade".
I loved school. Yes I am a geek, a bookworm, etc. So the idea of taking a college class has had me bouncing off the walls for the last week. I had visions and flashbacks to my University of Washington days. I figured I would be in a classroom full of other eager people, there to soak up the knowledge from an expert instructor and go out and conquer the web. Uh, no, that is not exactly what I found this evening.
So Continuing Education equals Older Students. Now, yes, I am Forty, but in my mind I am still 25. The class takes place at a new campus, each seat had its own computer and the room was very high tech. I took a front row seat and proceeded to watch the other students arrive. I had my pen and paper ready to take detailed notes. I was a sponge ready to soak up the knowledge of Web Design. I should have known it could go south when the first 15 minutes was taken up with the teacher having to keep sending "Lynn" down to the registrar because she was not on the class list and the class was full! She insists that she registered and finally the teacher relents, but then we have to wait while they get a laptop for the extra student. Guess what? One person didn't show so it was totally a mute point.
Class starts, I am a sponge, bring it on.
Teacher - "I want to go around the room, introduce yourself and tell us what you do and why you are attending this class"
Me in my head - GROAN, really? this is more like corporate training not college. Seriously I don't remember having to introduce myself back at UW in Kane Hall. Can you see it? "Hi I am Dawn, I am an Alpha Phi, I like purple" or "Hi my name is Dave, I am totally hungover dude from that awesome frat party last night, Hey, Dawn didn't I see you in the wet tshirt contest?"
So we go around the room and it is like a cast of characters from a Sienfield Episode.
"Hi I am Abigail, but you can call me Abby but not Gail because Gail is like an older women's name. I am here because I just finished college and didn't learn anything practical"
"Hi I am Peggy, my husband travels a lot to India, he has a really important job and I don't really have to work; but since I am now a housewife full time I thought I would start a business which means I need a website. I don't like to be bored."
"Hi I am Lynn" (yes, the one not registered, the one that taking the elevator to the registrar was probably the most exercise she has had in ten years, she is wearing birkenstocks and really shouldn't) "well, I need a website for my Psychic business. Plus I may want to design one for my partner's crafting"
Okay, really, wtf? If you are psychic why didn't you know that you were not registered for the class and called earlier in the day to get it fixed?
"Hi I am Biff" (seriously, the teacher called on him all night because I am certain she liked saying his name) "My parents won't let me live at home unless I am in school" (What he probably didn't say was, "Now I can continue to live there and design my own porn site)
"Hi I am Jerry. I was laid off."
and my favorite...
"Hi I am Dee, I am a graphic designer for the past 20 years. I have only worked in print materials, I figured I should get with the '90s and learn to do websites" Teacher - "uh you do know it is not the nineties right"
Me - (in my head) "Uh, I don't think she does, look at her big bangs"
What did I say, you ask?
"Hi I am Dawn. I was in banking for the last 20 years" (eye roll and giggle) "I suffered from cardiac arrest a little over a year ago, so now I am having a midlife crisis and trying to decide what I want to do when I grow up"
Teacher - "you are okay now right, cause I don't know cpr"
By about an hour in to the class I had learned absolutely nothing except that older students like to participate in class by offering questions, commentary and their opinions on the various topics. It was not like that the first go around at college. First of all teachers did not necessarily encourage classroom participation unless they wanted to call on you to see if you were awake. Plus, they didn't slow down and teach to the lowest intelligence level and they did not encourage dumb questions. You either kept up or you didn't. There was no allowing the students to add their insights. And at UW particularly if it was a math class, it was taught by a Teacher's Assistant that English was not the first language and you knew to pay attention or at least haul your butt down to the student union building to preorder the classroom notes that were taken by someone that clearly understood the math and the accent of the TA.
I tried hard the first hour to be a good student. I followed the rules although my fingers were itching to start blogging on the computer in front of me. I even participated, until Peggy, thinking that being the oldest meant she was the smartest, actually thought I might not know what an Internet browser was and proceeded to explain it to me. Peggy, I did not come here to learn from you, I want to learn from the teacher. Thanks Peggy, and btw it is called sunscreen, maybe you should have tried it.
At this point, my droid phone came out (keyboard does not make noise), I wedged it between my crossed legs and proceeded to start my facebook posts, and some instant messaging to keep me from screaming. My 13 year old text me, she asked how come she can't text in class at Junior High but I can text in a college class. I told her because I was not getting caught.
I have never heard so many people talk that did not know what they were talking about. Everyone seem to have something to comment on and tried to use big words to make it sound like they actually knew something more than how to turn the computer on. My favorite was Lynn, she kept asking questions about designing websites for "Chrome" versus Internet Explorer or Firefox. Really? Come on Lynn. First of all aren't you the one that just told everyone Bing was better than Google? And really? If you are that good of a psychic can't you predict the percentage of users that actually use Chrome? Or do you even know it is a browser? Cause if you were paying attention she just showed us a slide that gave the percentage of users for each browser and Chrome was not in the top three.
So at 9:15 the class ended and yes we were given homework! We also were given the opportunity to fill out a day one survey. Guess who wrote "I would like to have the class taught less by the students and more by the teacher please, thank you"
At least I was a polite snarky bitch.
But tonight I finally have something that has inspired me to write again after my two month silence.
Recently my good friend, Nancy, got me out of the house and working part time in her Bike Store. It has been terrific. I get to spend time with a fun and good friend, earn a little money and learn about the sport of cycling. I feel like I am actually helping Nancy out and making a difference at the store, even if it is just organizing inventory.
Last Friday I actually got to work with customers. Which consists of me totally trying to fake knowledge of biking while stalling the customer until someone that actually rides a bike can help them. My bike is a Mary Poppins bike, the bikes in this store cost upwards of 10k and you actually have to bend over to reach the handle bars. People actually wear biking apparel to ride them unlike the yoga pants I wear when riding my bike to the Red Hook Brewery. Their bikes are lightweight, have skinny tires and do not have a bell that says "I love Momma" on it. I think I annoyed Nancy the first week because I could not pronounce the brands correctly and I kept making fun of the padding in the crotch of the men's shorts.
I am having a lot of fun and it has turned into the potential for so much more. I am hoping to spend the summer working on their marketing. The website, social media, sales training, etc. One of the owners was so gracious to pay for me to attend a college continuing education class on Effective Website Design. It is an 8 hour class over two days this week at Bellevue College. Not to be mistaken for Bellevue Community College. They dropped the Community part due to some new accreditation. But many of my High School Classmates may still refer to it as the "13th grade".
I loved school. Yes I am a geek, a bookworm, etc. So the idea of taking a college class has had me bouncing off the walls for the last week. I had visions and flashbacks to my University of Washington days. I figured I would be in a classroom full of other eager people, there to soak up the knowledge from an expert instructor and go out and conquer the web. Uh, no, that is not exactly what I found this evening.
So Continuing Education equals Older Students. Now, yes, I am Forty, but in my mind I am still 25. The class takes place at a new campus, each seat had its own computer and the room was very high tech. I took a front row seat and proceeded to watch the other students arrive. I had my pen and paper ready to take detailed notes. I was a sponge ready to soak up the knowledge of Web Design. I should have known it could go south when the first 15 minutes was taken up with the teacher having to keep sending "Lynn" down to the registrar because she was not on the class list and the class was full! She insists that she registered and finally the teacher relents, but then we have to wait while they get a laptop for the extra student. Guess what? One person didn't show so it was totally a mute point.
Class starts, I am a sponge, bring it on.
Teacher - "I want to go around the room, introduce yourself and tell us what you do and why you are attending this class"
Me in my head - GROAN, really? this is more like corporate training not college. Seriously I don't remember having to introduce myself back at UW in Kane Hall. Can you see it? "Hi I am Dawn, I am an Alpha Phi, I like purple" or "Hi my name is Dave, I am totally hungover dude from that awesome frat party last night, Hey, Dawn didn't I see you in the wet tshirt contest?"
So we go around the room and it is like a cast of characters from a Sienfield Episode.
"Hi I am Abigail, but you can call me Abby but not Gail because Gail is like an older women's name. I am here because I just finished college and didn't learn anything practical"
"Hi I am Peggy, my husband travels a lot to India, he has a really important job and I don't really have to work; but since I am now a housewife full time I thought I would start a business which means I need a website. I don't like to be bored."
"Hi I am Lynn" (yes, the one not registered, the one that taking the elevator to the registrar was probably the most exercise she has had in ten years, she is wearing birkenstocks and really shouldn't) "well, I need a website for my Psychic business. Plus I may want to design one for my partner's crafting"
Okay, really, wtf? If you are psychic why didn't you know that you were not registered for the class and called earlier in the day to get it fixed?
"Hi I am Biff" (seriously, the teacher called on him all night because I am certain she liked saying his name) "My parents won't let me live at home unless I am in school" (What he probably didn't say was, "Now I can continue to live there and design my own porn site)
"Hi I am Jerry. I was laid off."
and my favorite...
"Hi I am Dee, I am a graphic designer for the past 20 years. I have only worked in print materials, I figured I should get with the '90s and learn to do websites" Teacher - "uh you do know it is not the nineties right"
Me - (in my head) "Uh, I don't think she does, look at her big bangs"
What did I say, you ask?
"Hi I am Dawn. I was in banking for the last 20 years" (eye roll and giggle) "I suffered from cardiac arrest a little over a year ago, so now I am having a midlife crisis and trying to decide what I want to do when I grow up"
Teacher - "you are okay now right, cause I don't know cpr"
By about an hour in to the class I had learned absolutely nothing except that older students like to participate in class by offering questions, commentary and their opinions on the various topics. It was not like that the first go around at college. First of all teachers did not necessarily encourage classroom participation unless they wanted to call on you to see if you were awake. Plus, they didn't slow down and teach to the lowest intelligence level and they did not encourage dumb questions. You either kept up or you didn't. There was no allowing the students to add their insights. And at UW particularly if it was a math class, it was taught by a Teacher's Assistant that English was not the first language and you knew to pay attention or at least haul your butt down to the student union building to preorder the classroom notes that were taken by someone that clearly understood the math and the accent of the TA.
I tried hard the first hour to be a good student. I followed the rules although my fingers were itching to start blogging on the computer in front of me. I even participated, until Peggy, thinking that being the oldest meant she was the smartest, actually thought I might not know what an Internet browser was and proceeded to explain it to me. Peggy, I did not come here to learn from you, I want to learn from the teacher. Thanks Peggy, and btw it is called sunscreen, maybe you should have tried it.
At this point, my droid phone came out (keyboard does not make noise), I wedged it between my crossed legs and proceeded to start my facebook posts, and some instant messaging to keep me from screaming. My 13 year old text me, she asked how come she can't text in class at Junior High but I can text in a college class. I told her because I was not getting caught.
I have never heard so many people talk that did not know what they were talking about. Everyone seem to have something to comment on and tried to use big words to make it sound like they actually knew something more than how to turn the computer on. My favorite was Lynn, she kept asking questions about designing websites for "Chrome" versus Internet Explorer or Firefox. Really? Come on Lynn. First of all aren't you the one that just told everyone Bing was better than Google? And really? If you are that good of a psychic can't you predict the percentage of users that actually use Chrome? Or do you even know it is a browser? Cause if you were paying attention she just showed us a slide that gave the percentage of users for each browser and Chrome was not in the top three.
So at 9:15 the class ended and yes we were given homework! We also were given the opportunity to fill out a day one survey. Guess who wrote "I would like to have the class taught less by the students and more by the teacher please, thank you"
At least I was a polite snarky bitch.
2 parts:
ReplyDelete1, cycle shop - hilarious
2, web class - student descriptions, priceless!
Good luck with that one, you can probably sign up to teach it next week. haha!